Dylan Rhymer's State of the Week

(OTTAWA) National Defence Minister Peter MacKay faces renewed criticism after he was photographed taking a Canadian Infantry Churchill Tank to 7-11 on what appeared to be a late night snack run this weekend.  

MacKay has argued that his use of the tank at approximately 1:45 a.m. Sunday morning was part of a “surprise inspection” exercise, not a snack-run during a weekend-long Dungeons and Dragons match he was hosting in his basement, as suggested by Ottawa insiders.

 7-11 witnesses stated: “The only thing “military” about this “operation” was his “liberating” some Pringles and a Slurpee. And then we all had to watch him hitting on the girl who worked there and trying to act all cool. Like ‘look I can take the tank for a spin any time, baby.’ It was super pathetic.”

Tank Commander Adrian Conwright added; “And he got one of those Big Bite hot dogs and just smothered it in that nacho cheese stuff. That’s disgusting, man. I’ve been to Afghanistan on 2 tours, but that guy must have some kind of death wish to be eating that shit.”