NDP FINALLY DECIDE ON A PLACE TO GO FOR PIZZA
(OTTAWA) - After a 6-month debate, the New Democratic Party has come together with a unified, decisive resolve and finally decided on a place to go have pizza.
“Since Jack Layton’s passing the party has been in disarray on this issue. Jack always knew which pizza restaurant to go to and none of us can remember what it was called.” Said Martin Singh
Upon opening the Yellow Pages, leadership candidates were overwhelmed by the large number of pizzerias in the greater Ottawa area and the sheer volume of delicious toppings to choose from.
Pizza Hut was immediately shot down because that’s where Stephen Harper likes to eat.
Both Colonnade Pizza and Milano were considered on the strength of their crazy breads, while Linda Duncan alone wanted Pizza Pizza because it was cheapest. She was shot down by Ottawa MP Paul Dewar: “Look, I know we’re the NDP and everything. But no amount of blue-collar cred justifies eating the baked diarrhoea at Pizza Pizza.”
The party settled on Gabriel Pizza on Rideau, but were shocked and disappointed when they got there and it was closed.