HARPER VOWS TO ABOLISH SANTA’S NAUGHTY/NICE REGISTRY

(OTTAWA)- Prime Minister Stephen Harper has vowed to abolish Santa Claus’  Naughty/Nice Registry during his televised Christmas address.

“By eliminating this unfair and biased registry, we can rest assured that Canadian prosperity is based on ingenuity and hard work, not the whims of an obese Nordic hermit.” said the PM “One who apparently doesn’t get letters specifically requesting the new Perry Como box set.” he added bitterly.

Opposition MPs slam the move insisting the N/N Registry is effective means of naughtiness prevention.

Interim NDP Leader Nycole Turmel says: “I do good all year because I know I have the new Ipad coming to me. But if the PM nixes Santa’s naughty / nice list, then why even bother being a decent person? Without presents next Xmas, I might just make life shit for the working man all year. I may as well just cross the floor to the Tories.”

Harper promises to move immediately in the New Year to abolish the registry. He did, however, express a keen interest in Santa’s ability to see everybody when they’re sleeping and when they’re awake.

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