N KOREAN BURGER KINGS NAME KIM JONG-UN “SUPREME BURGER KIM”
(PYONGYANG) – In a final testament to solidifying his power, North Korean Burger Kings have officially named Kim Jong-Un as Supreme Burger Kim, putting him formally at the head of all fryers and milkshake mixers and further strengthening his snack food authority in the wake of Kim Jong Il’s death.
A Workers’ Party meeting proclaimed that Kim Jong-Un has “assumed Supreme Commandership of the Peoples’ Burger Kingdom including sovereign supremacy over Most Glorious Drive-Thru and the Exalted Birthday Party Area including the Preeminent Ball Room and the Merriest-of-Go-Rounds.”
Kim Jong-Un’s inexperience has raised questions outside North Korea about his leadership of a busy fast food outlet during a rush, perhaps straining delicate tensions between front counter staff and prep cooks.
North Korea has rushed to show a unified face. Said a burger spokesman: “The people of North Korea will have it His Way.”
His grandfather, Kim Il Sung, the country’s first and only president, retains the title People’s Whopper Supreme Burger Kim even after his death.
SOTW on Twitter https://twitter.com/#!/StateoftheWeek