Dylan Rhymer's State of the Week

(OTTAWA) – In what may perhaps be the most damning detail of the F-35 scandal so far, Defense Minister Peter MacKay was lured into the purchase of 65 fighter jets by an enormous inflatable castle shaped like King Kong and free hot dogs at Cal Worthington Motors in Tacoma, Washington.

The deal took place on a day trip that Stephen Harper had planned to Birch Bay Water Slides for himself, Mrs Harper, Peter MacKay and his wife Nazanin.

While driving past Worthington Motors in Tacoma, MacKay became obsessed with an enormous bouncy castle shaped like King Kong in the parking lot.

“Peter just wouldn’t shut up about the bouncy castle and it was clearly getting on Stephen’s nerves” recounts Mrs Harper.

“I’ll turn this car around!” barked Prime Minister Harper, at which point Peter Mackay sulked in the back seat. The Prime Minister finally relented in the wake of Peter Mackay’s ceaseless whining and pulled into Worthington Motors.

MacKay immediately removed his loafers and began jumping in the King Kong-shaped bouncy castle until he became sick in his mouth. He then gorged on free hot dogs, against Harper’s warnings that he would just ruin his appetite for dinner. 

At this point, lot owner Cal Worthington appeared and lured MacKay into the back where he wrangled a deal with the Defense Minister to purchase a fleet of 5-35 fighters at the cost of $35B. MacKay also received a free toaster oven.

Responding to attacks at Question Period, MacKay defended his actions insisting; “Come on, you guys!! He wouldn’t try to rip us off! Cal Worthington’s a really nice guy!”

“Then he started gushing about how much he loves King Kong and wouldn’t it be awesome if King Kong attacked the House of Commons and who would win in a fight? King Kong or a fleet of F-35 fighter jets?” sighs NDP Leader Tom Mulcair. “I think he may have bought the fleet of F-35s just to see if he could make that battle actually happen.”

Cal Worthington was unavailable for comment, as he has to take his dog spot (that is actually an elephant) to the vet.