HATE OF THE WEEK: Chris Brown & Everyone Who Didn’t Murder Him On Stage
Happy Valentines Day! Go ahead and beat your girlfriend, you might even get a shiny thing!
I’m not even sure what R&B is. All it ever sounds like is people peacocking their voices with “oooh girl” this and “bay-bay” that to cover up the fact that their songs have no melodies whatsoever. But even though I never paid any attention whatsoever to R&B or the Grammies I was a little unnerved to see Chris Brown strutting on stage as though he was bravely overcoming some great injustice done to him, like Daniel Day Lewis at the end of In the Name of the Father.
Am I crazy, or wasn’t he in a spot of bother with the cops a while back for.. oh what was it again? Loitering? No, that’s not it. Shoplifting? No… Oh yeah it was BEATING UP A WOMAN TO THE POINT WHERE SHE ALMOST DIED.
I think that was it, but I can’t be sure.
I wasn’t aware that you were allowed to kick the shit out of your girl, just as long as you can dance. They should start dance lessons in trailer parks, nobody would ever get busted! Caught kicking the shit out of your girl? Just dance! Dancing confuses the police and you become invisible like the Shadow. Just do a spin and moon walk out of prison…
But the people I hate the most are everyone who gave that woman-beating sack of shit a pass. From the producers of the Grammies right on down to the people who cheered when he walked onstage. The only ethical response to his appearance would have been to rush the stage and kick him to death and then present his bloody, mangled head to Rihanna.
Or at least show massive images of the swollen baseball glove that he made of Rihanna’s face on massive screens behind him during his cheesy, bland performance.
And not even a boo! Not one! I have seen soooo many instances where people got booed without the slightest provocation. If someone sings a crappy version of the Star Spangled Banner, they are invariably booed. People booed when Michael Moore slammed Bush’s corrupt Presidency at the Academy Awards. But here you had a man who genuinely deserved a boo at the every least and not a peep. Except, of course, the fans screaming their adoration like the thoughtless plebs they are.
Most pathetic of all, Chris Brown thanked god for his Grammies appearance and win. Hey Chris, god had nothing to do with it: greedy music executives did. If he’s gonna thank anybody, it should be cynical men in business suits who bank on people’s ability to check their integrity at the door as long as I guess the lights are shiny enough.
For the record: god is not a wife-beater. God is a philosophical creation intended to STOP PEOPLE FROM BEATING THEIR SPOUSE! (at least this decade, anyways)
But Chris Brown is convinced that god is in his corner. I bet he can’t wait to get up to heaven where he can pummel the likes of Billie Holiday, Aaliyah, and yes, even Whitney Houston. But he’d better not fuck with Etta James, that lady can give as good as she gets.
AND he’s a SHITTY DANCER!