Dylan Rhymer's State of the Week

First thing’s first:

 EVERYONE CAN FUCK OFF CAUSE I GOTS A GRAMMY! Ha! Ha! I’m not sayin’ sorry, ‘cause a Grammy is all the sorry I need to say. In fact, you are all required by law to apologize to ME! Did I mention I got a Grammy?

You be hatin’ on the Brown man for that shit with Rihanna, but you weren’t there so you don’t know what went down that night .It got a little crazy, hell, I’ll say it, it got a lot crazy, yo. But a man doesn’t punchily eductate a woman unless he has a damn good reason. And that pot roast was burnt, dawg! Dry as shit! That bitch can’t cook! And after a hard day’s dancin’, a man’s got a right to a well-cooked meal. ‘Nuff said.

God loves three things: God loves Chris Brown. God loves Grammies. God really loves Chris Brown getting’ himself a nice, shiny Grammy. So if you be hatin’ on Chris Brown, you be hatin’ on God. Cause in a weird way Chris Brown is God and you’re all going to hell.

Now ladies,

 Thank you so much for the support on Twitter. It got me through the troubling times when not everyone loved me as much as I do.

To all the ladies who had my back with comments like these;

@ _anniegregg everyone shut up about Chris Brown being a woman beater. Shiiiiit he can beat me up all night if he wants

@KaylaMarieWatts Dude, ChrisBrown can punch me in the face if he wants to. Just as long as he kisses it

and

@ohfuckitscasey Chris Brown could serenade me and then punch me in the eye. I’m down for it

Well ladies, today is your lucky day. Because I will be over to your places shortly to kiss you all over and beat you all over. I will serenade you and then punch you in the eye. I will punch you and then kiss  you. Oh yeah. Just you, me, and Chris Brown’s Grammy. If you’re real nice and cook me a good pot roast, I may even beat you with my Grammy and then you can kiss my Grammy.

Just don’t burn that fucking pot roast and we’ll get along just fine.

You’re welcome and I forgive you.  

Chris Brown