RUPERT MURDOCH ADMITS HE READ YOUR TEENAGE DAUGHTER’S DIARY
(LONDON) – Rupert Murdoch, beleaguered CEO of News Corp, further implicated himself today when he revealed that last weekend he broke into your 13-year-old daughter’s bedroom while you were all at Zellers and, after rifling through her panty drawer located and read every page of her diary.
“The lock was some cheap plastic shit but all it took was a little tinkering with a hair pin and I got at the goods like a dingo running away with a baby.” Admitted Murdoch under oath in a London court room.
Murdoch claims that his actions were in the best interest of the public. “I stand by these actions as being in the public interest. I am a member of the public, and I am interested in your daughter’s diary.”
Murdoch continued “And by the way she had her first period last week in gym class and it was extremely humiliating for her. Unfortunately there weren’t any photos.”
As well, Murdoch admitted that while in your house he also located and sniffed your wife’s dildo, which, up until this moment you weren’t even aware that she owned.