BOTH OBAMA AND ROMNEY CONFUSED BY EGYPT’S ENTHUSIASM FOR DEMOCRATIC PROCESS
(CAIRO)- Thousands of voter flooded Tahrir Square to celebrate the election of Mohammed Morsi, Egypt’s first democratically elected President. Meanwhile, back in the USA both incumbent President Obama and would-be successor Mitt Romney expressed surprise and confusion at Egyptians’ love of the democratic process itself.
“No constant smear ads, no super PACs, no racist accusations? How did they manage to convince all those people to vote without scaring them into it? I don’t get it.” Said Mitt Romney. “It’s almost like all of those poor people genuinely wanted to vote for Mr Morsi to lead them, as opposed to just choosing the lesser of two options based on relentless misleading media messages. I mean, whattup with that?”
Said Vice-President Joe Biden, speaking for President Obama who was busy at a celebrity-laden fundraiser at the time of the Egyptian election; “President Obama wishes to send his congratulations to President-elect Marbi who was elected with seemingly no empty promises that any idiot could tell he had no intention of following through on. The United States promises that it will support Egypt right up until the point where it becomes politically advantageous to accuse them all of being godless terrorists.”
However, both Presidential candidates breathed a sigh of relief when it was revealed that the Egyptian military will continue hold the balance of power, despite the wishes of the voters.
“Thank God”, added Mr Romney and Mr Biden “At least this whole “election” thing hasn’t gotten out of control of the people who really matter: the people who make the bombs.”