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NEWSNOISE
Rupert Murdoch Announces Fox News Kids Network
(LOS ANGELES) Rupert Murdoch, the media mogul and owner of News Corporation/FOX NEWS, has announced the launch of FOX NEWS KIDS, a 24-hour News network aimed at children 13 years old and younger. Murdoch said, “FOX NEWS KIDS brings together a colourful group of cartoon and puppet talent whose outspoken opinions make for dynamic programming. And it’ll be FUN!”
Key kid issues such as ‘Planned Parenthood smells like farts’, ‘Muslims pick their nose and then eat the snot’, and ‘Is President Obama actually a scary werewolf who eats children?’ will be discussed day-in, day-out. The network will open with a special 2-hour report on how to nag your parents into voting Republican.
Some of the revolving FOX personalities include their star presenter Kaa the Snake, from Disney film the Jungle Book whose Kaa Weekend Live has already skewed extremely well with test audiences who unanimously call the show “fair and balanced”. The program will feature key news makers to debate the issues and be entranced by host Kaa’s spiraling eyes.
Murdoch then introduced Kaa himself who waved back and forth for the Associated Press saying “FOX NEWS KIDS will be the most trusted animated news source in the country. Fair and balanced like a teeter-totter… fair and balanced… fair and balanced…”
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