Dylan Rhymer's State of the Week

Christopher Hitchens has been dead just longer than a weekend and already the religious retardosphere is abuzz with, predictably, news of Hitchens’ burning in hell

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FmIMAA46A8

or worse, his alleged deathbed conversion.  What is it about the deathbed conversion that delights the Christians so? I believe it’s a deep-seeded jealousy that someone could be strong enough to take their convictions to the grave, even if that means coming to terms with an eternity of non-existence. This is a concept that those who are desperate to live forever simply cannot appreciate, and usually fear. Given the choice of living like a sell-out or dying with integrity and no celestial payoff, the former can only pathetically try to discredit the posthumous integrity of the latter. They are ghouls.

But even worse are Hitchens’ religious-minded friends and colleagues who can’t seem to help themselves from claiming his eternal soul for their own camp. Editorials and on-line comment pages are rife with Hitchens’ religious friends and admirers insisting that Hitch is still around in the afterlife. Not the afterlife, mind you THEIR afterlife. What is the most maddening is that they seem to think this is a great privilege, and that Hitch is, no doubt, thrilled with the notion that the last decade of his life was spent in foolish futility.  

Hitch’s friend and regular debate opponent Pastor Doug Wilson announced on YouTube that “Christopher Hitchens went to see the lord.”

And Pastor Rick Warren, “I prayed for him constantly and grieve his loss. He knows the Truth now.”

With all due respect, Pastors, get fucked. While I’m certain you meant these statements in the nicest possible way, and have no doubt you loved the man, I have news for you: Hitch knew “the truth” while he was still alive and now he knows nothing because his brain is dead. That is what made his work so significant. He  stood by the unpopular conviction that every thought expressed is done by the ticking stopwatch of one’s own mortality and then that’s it.  In fact, he pitied your faith and often referred to the god notion as “celestial totalitarianism”. Interestingly, even in death and unable to retort, he continues to kick your Christian asses in the debate.

I’ll be sure to write letters to the newspapers when you guys drop dead, reading “Pastor Warren is rotting in a box having wasted the only life he will ever have obsessing over a really old book.“

In a sad and bizarre coincidence, the same radio newscast that announced Hitchens’ death also announced a Catholic priest by the name of Father George Smith being brought up on 38 separate counts of child molestation in Newfoundland. 38 counts is high, even by East Coast Catholic standards.

  The usual rush of anger rises in the back of the throat when thinking of Father George Smith and his 38 victims, but even worse was the standard non-apology by the Bishop Peter Hunt who “expressed deep regret” and insists that the answer is prayer.

Said Bishop Hunt; “This has to take us back to prayer, it brings us back to god recognizing that we are weak and it’s so easy to fall into sin… Pray for god’s grace for ourselves and for all who were hurt… We’re all sinners.”

Listen to it here:

http://www.cbc.ca/asithappens/episode/2011/12/16/the-friday-edition-7/

Prayer? Prayer is literally the least you can do legally and physically. And as for the notion that “we are all sinners”, go shove it up your ass, Bish. By your definition we may all be sinners, but the vast majority of us weren’t fucking children like we were trying to set a world record. 38 is high even by Catholic standards. Stop blaming your priests’ child rape on every single person that has ever existed except the actual priest who diddled the kids. In a weird way, he even blamed god for the abuse.

But by all means keep praying. The convenient thing about prayer is that your eyes are shut.

Hitch, where are you when we need you? Oh yeah. Dead. Unlike Catholics, we anti-theists cannot have clandestine meetings behind closed doors to decide who it is we respect. We must wait for evolution and the tides of society to produce another great chain-smoking, scotch guzzling champion of reason. It’s going to be a long wait.

In the meantime, I suggest we lock up the child-rapists, even if they are wearing collars and then melt Vatican City and feed the world unconditionally.

Starting with this old man’s fancy cane.

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