NEW IPAD 3’s FEATURES INCLUDE THE NUMBER 3 AND THE WORD “NEW”

(NEW YORK)- After a wait of some period of time, Apple unveiled the “New iPad 3”, which features the number 3 and the all-new word “new”, which had been previously absent from the names of Apple iPad products.

As well as the exciting new number and word, the device features colours and sounds and a physical presence that takes up space.

Apple CEO Tim Cook stated at; “This thing features a whole new number, which is exactly one entire number higher than the last number, which was 2. Is the world is finally ready to spend money on a thing with the number 3 and a word on it? At Apple we give people at least that much credit.”

Consumers lined up around the block in anticipation, wanting to be the first person to legally own the new number and word.

 “2 was pretty good, 4 months ago, but my lifestyle is so fast-paced I can’t make do with 2 any more. 2 is for chumps. 3 is for winners!” Said a young person with enough money to buy one. 

 Apple promises to release the “Even Newer Apple iPad 4” sometime next week and may even skip 5 and go directly to 6 after that. Tim Cook even looks forward to a future where Apple releases just numbers without anything attached to them at all.

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