JUGGALO’S MUST REMOVE CLOWN MAKE-UP DURING CITIZENSHIP CEREMONIES

(OTTAWA)- Members of the Juggalo community will be banned from wearing clown face paint during Canadian citizenship ceremonies, the Conservatives announced Monday. The colourful paint, identifying men and women as fans of the Insane Clown Posse, must be removed before swearing in.  

Immigration Minister Jason Kenney explained. “Just because these clowns are insane and in a posse does not mean that they can separate themselves from Canadian values of openness and equality. The only posse they need to be in in the great big posse that is Canada.”

Juggalo Rights advocate Lawya G. Stankz  judged the move an attack on Juggalo traditions. “What’s next? Will a Juggalo no longer be allowed to get buck nekkid and walk through da streets, winkin’ at freaks with a two-litre stuck in his butt cheeks?”

Currently at airports, Juggalos may opt to show their face only to a Juggalo security screener and may vote in elections for The Insane Clown Party of Canada without removing their make-up.

“It’s obvious that the Conservatives are just not down with the clown.” continued Stankz “Unless you’re talking about Stephen Harper, that is.”

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