Dylan Rhymer's State of the Week

 (OTTAWA) – Minister of the Environment Peter Kent dismissed charges of inciting a smear campaign when he described each and every environmentalist in Canada as being “a bunch of raging child molesters”.

Earlier today, when asked to comment on the increasing numbers of environmental protection groups opposing the proposed Northern Gateway oil pipeline, the Minister replied; “The Canadian economy is just making baby steps towards recovery. And these groups would hijack, abduct and interfere with this innocent baby.”

He then winked broadly at the assembled reporters.

After a pause, the Minister added; “Like a bunch of chicken hawks, you know what I mean? I mean child molesters, if you don’t know what I mean. Yeah. All environmentalists are exactly the same as child molesters who molest children. YOUR CHILDREN.”  said the Minister pointing a finger at the cameras.

An assistant to Mr Kent denied any wrongdoing; “The Looney Left must really be grasping at straws if they see some sort of boogie man here. Next you won’t even be able to use everyday expressions like “The NDP support Kiddie Porn”.

The office of the Minister has yet to reply to accusations that he was responsible for putting every member of Greenpeace, including Dr David Suzuki, on the Canada Sex Offenders Registry.