Dylan Rhymer's State of the Week

(WASHINGTON)- Rush Limbaugh has courted controversy again with a vicious on-air attack of Sandra Fluke, a student who testified that birth control should be covered by her HMO. He then began masturbating on-air and begged to be spanked by Planned Parenthood.

Rush Limbaugh’s remarks began; “What does it say about Susan Fluke? [sic]. It makes her a slut, right? So Miss Fluke, and the rest of you Feminazis at Planned Parenthood, here’s the deal. If we are going to pay for you to have sex. We want something for it. We want you post the videos online so we can all watch.”

Limbaugh then paused and took a deep breath and continued.

“And I want you to make me pay for all the horrible things I’ve said about women. I’m just a male chauvinist piggy and I want you to spank my piggy ass all purple and make me squeal. Mmm. Feed me bacon and spank the piggy. I deserve it. Make me pay my bum taxes at the piggy bank. Oh, Moooommy…” 

Limbaugh then devolved into a series of rasping grunts and finally a massive, bout of flatulence that went on for 45 seconds, uninterrupted before cutting to a spot for Stamps.com.

The right-wing applaud Limbaugh’s outburst. Said Gary, a  Limbaugh listener; “ I tell you what, this is exactly the kind of no-nonsense truth that Americans need to hear. Would that slick-talking Obama ever jack-off and fart on the air while crying to his mommy? I don’t think so. I will continue to listen to Rush, whatever end of him is making noises at the microphone.”