Dylan Rhymer's State of the Week

(VANCOUVER) Despite excellent organization and successful rallies, Occupy Vancouver protesters continue to be grossly outnumbered by the Occupy My Couch movement.

Occupy Vancouver is a group of protesters and citizens occupying approximately one square block of public space behind Vancouver’s Art Gallery. Occupy My Couch takes up approximately everywhere else in the world where human beings are.

“What do these people want? What do they even stand for? All they’re doing is sitting around. I with the cops would just go in there and clear the area out.” Says Vancouver resident Howard Carter from his office across the street from Occupy Vancouver. Howard then got in his car, drove home and watched 6 straight hours of television without getting up. 

Occupy Vancouver, although having no central list of demands or formal leadership, stands for income equality, social programs and campaign finance reform. Despite these being clearly written on placards and signs, is often accused of being misguided and unclear of its central ethos.

Occupy My Couch, also has no central ethos other than another root beer, Hawkins cheesies and occasional bouts of masturbation. It continues to grow exponentially with the population.

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