Dylan Rhymer's State of the Week

(FREDERICTON, NB)- Old, white people are making last-minute preparations for a visit from two fellow old white people from the United Kingdom. The two English senior citizens are considered by many white British old folks to be ambassadors of the interests of the pallid, British, geriatric lifestyle.  

The very popular UK senior citizens are expected to arrive in Fredericton, NB some time Monday morning and immediately begin waving and smiling at the masses of fellow ancient white people at the airport, who will smile and wave back until the famous old white people drive away from them in a big, fancy car. 

People will take photographs of the senile caucasian waving festival. This will be in all the newspapers and highlighted as the most exciting moment of the Fredericton social calendar for retired honkies.  

 “They’re just so white and friendly and old and non-threatening. It’s like looking in the mirror, only not.” Said New Brunswick resident Gladys MacDonald,

While in New Brunswick, the pale, sextegenarian couple plan to engage in white, olden  activities such as drinking tea, sitting down, walking near ducks and shaking hands while nodding politely at fellow cadaverous elderlies of Anglo-Saxon background. 

No young minorities could be located for comment.