NEWSNOISE
(OTTAWA) – An Ottawa Catholic priest stunned the community when it was revealed he’s involved in a scandal that has absolutely nothing at all to do with molesting children in his care.
Joseph LeClair is charged with misappropriating over $240,000 from a downtown parish, not inviting small children to wash his genitals in a bathtub or feeling them up in a tent during summertime sleep away camp.
Blessed Sacrament parish, where, freakishly, no children at all were molested
Police said Wednesday they arrested LeClair after a complaint by the Ottawa archdiocese, but had mistakenly assumed that they were being called out to arrest LeClair for interfering with kids.
Said lead investigator Sargent Frances Bouchard; “Frankly, we just assumed that he’d been diddling kiddies and didn’t even bother looking at the warrant. Then we noticed that his laptop computer contains absolutely no child pornography. It was only at that point that we realized that actually weren’t arresting him for child rape, but for stealing a bunch of money or something.”
Some of the children that LeClair didn’t molest. For real. No joke.
Continued Bouchard; “Who figures a Catholic priest’s getting arrested for anything other than exposing himself to minors? It’s a head scratcher.”
The Archbishop of Ottawa said many in the Catholic community are “hurt and disappointed” by the news. “…And really surprised that LeClair didn’t finger-bang any toddlers. Not even one.”
He was released from police custody on a promise to appear in court on July 25 on charges that in no way have anything to do with being a creepy pedophile.
I’m serious.
