Chelsea Turner drove 8 hours to see the statue of Penn State football coach Joe Paterno. When she saw that it was gone from its place outside the university stadium, she clasped her hand over her mouth.
“He’s done so much for this university. It’s sad,” said Turner, “I am such a huge fan of child molestation, this is just heartbreaking.”
The university took down the monument in the wake of a scandal involving Paterno’s concealing child sex abuse claims against Jerry Sandusky.
“Get over it!” says Turner “That’s why God made repressed memories! But even God can’t repress my memories of the triple overtime win in the 2006 Orange Bowl.”
“JoePa is a legend.” Says sports writer Roger Miller “He led Penn State to two national championships and five undefeated, untied seasons all the while concealing child rape in the showers. You show me any other coach with that kind of multitasking ability. Most coaches couldn’t even throw a ball straight while feeling up a toddler.”
Said a NAMBLA representative; “If you are a serious fan of child groping, not just a bandwagon-jumper like those Gary Glitter fags, you know the only name in institutionalized child molestation is Paterno. The guy’s a one-man residential school.”
Penn State president Rod Erick-son said he decided to have the statue removed because it “has become an obstacle to healing” to victims of child abuse. But not everybody at Penn State feels that it’s necessary.
“I just wish those kids could really appreciate the caliber of man who covered up their molestation.” Says Penn State child paedophilia fan Dutch Sanders “Then they might have shut their mouths and taken one for the team.”
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