Dylan Rhymer's State of the Week

(Calgary)- Christian Evangelical group Focus on the Family Canada has cited Canada’s record-topping heat wave that scorched Western Canada this week as “God’s punishment for gays being such hotties.”

Said FOTF spokesman Cliff Garlick; “Gays looking so cute in their little short-shorts and sailor hats, dancing and jumping around with their hands on their hips. Oooh, God just HATES that. It keeps him up at night just torturing himself with his disapproval… God can’t sleep just knowing they’re out there…  and because these gays are such shameless hotties, He has given Canada a heat wave every bit as scorching as the thighs and buttocks of the men from Davie Street in Vancouver to Boystown, Toronto!”

Garlick then paraded down the street by himself chanting; “Hot, hot GAYS cause hot, hot DAYS! Hot, hot GAYS cause hot, hot DAYS!”

Garlick has vowed to personally protest Calgary’s own Club Sapien every night until God puts an end to the heat wave.

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