Dylan Rhymer's State of the Week

This morning at 2 am, thousands of voters in Ottawa and Edmonton electoral ridings received electronic phone calls on behalf of the Federal Government reminding them that the Tories had nothing at all to do with the robo-calls scandal.

Voters were roused from their slumbers to hear an eerily robotic voice that turned out to be Prime Minister Harper himself; “This robo-calling scandal has nothing at all to do with the majority government that you elected, fair and square with no sleazy shenanigans or underhanded tactics whatsoever. Now go back to sleep.”

At this point soothing music begins to play behind the PM “… and when you wake up in the morning you will feel refreshed and trust the Conservative Government. Harper is your friend…Harper is your friend…” This is repeated for one hour and forty-five minutes.

Public response has been favorable with a 88% those polled by telephone agreeing with the statement; “I don’t believe Harper had anything to do with this scandal. I think of him as a friend.”