RON PAUL QUITS GOP RACE AFTER BEING SEXUALLY HARASSED BY RICK SANTORUM

(IOWA)- In keeping with his controversial stance that victims of work-place sexual harassment are partly responsible for their own abuse and should quit their job, Ron Paul has quit his run for the Republican leadership after he was sexually harassed by Senator Rick Santorum. 

 “In order to prevent any further sexual advances by Senator Santorum, I see no other option but to leave the GOP race and go work at Jugo Juice or something.” Said Congressman Paul.

 Santorum invited Ron Paul to the backroom of a local bike shop he part-owned under the pretense of a private meeting about some poll figures. Once in the back room, Senator Santorum offered Paul treats such as a delicious banana split, wine and a pill in order to convince Ron Paul to pose for “fun photos” in the bathtub with no shirt on. At this point, Paul got concerned and ran all the way home and told his parents and a kindly policeman.


 “It was I, Ron Paul, who decided that Mr Santorum’s Bicycle Shop was a safe place to be without any other grownups around and so I must resign immediately. That is the only responsible thing to do.”

He added, “I sure learned an important lesson. In my life, this has been a very special episode.”

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