SOTW SUNDAY RANT: WHEN POLITICIANS START BRINGING MY FOOD, THEN THEY CAN HAVE TIPS

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Being a waiter or waitress is a crummy job, no question. From the sore feet and sexual harassment to whatever idiotic costume your boss dreams up for you to wear in an attempt to draw in families (no doubt including indecisive, snotty children and brainless parents), it’s a noble, but difficult job. Good to know that Revenue Canada has found a way to make life a little more difficult for your local bartender.

“A blitz by Canada Revenue Agency auditors on an unfortunate group of waiters and waitresses in one Ontario community has exposed “very surprising” amounts of unreported tips and gratuities The pilot project targeted 145 servers working in just four restaurants in St. Catharines, Ont., a blue-collar city on the Niagara Peninsula, south of Toronto…In the end, the blitz flushed out $1.7 million in unreported tips and gratuities.”

Heaven forbid!

The blitz was among dozens of pilot projects across the country that targeted the underground economy, estimated to be worth as much as $36 Billion. ..Revenue agency staff began the blitz with an information campaign at 311 dining and drinking establishments in the city, warning serving staff and bartenders of the consequences of failing to declare tip income.”

So Revenue Canada has decided to crack down on waiters and waitresses for what is being made out to be a scourge of unreported tips that threatens to cripple the economy with the illicit and largely hypothetical “underground economy”.

It must drive them nuts knowing that hard-working people are being rewarded for a hard days’ work, and the only taxes they are paying are income taxes on their hourly wages, each and every hour of each and every shift. How dare they not step up and hand over money they earned themselves to a bunch of accountants and politicians!

See, here’s the thing…

I DON’T WANT THE FUCKING GOVERNMENT GETTING ANY OF THE TIP! IT’S FOR THE SERVER!

The Government didn’t refill my coffee, the Government didn’t laugh at my unfunny jokes and the Government didn’t wash my dishes. Hell, the Government didn’t do a goddamned thing last time I checked. So where does the Federal Government get off assuming they can have any of the tip?

 Like the farm animals in “The Little Red Hen”, they don’t want to help bake it, but they all want some of the bread.

Tipping came about as a result of generally low wages and high physical demands required of the average server, neither condition seems to have gotten any better.  So when I tip, I want the waiter to have the money. All of it. Every penny.  

Now if, for example, in the process of a delightful meal my waitress was Minister of Labour Lisa Raitt, I would feel compelled to hand over a little something-something to her.

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with a scowl like that, I won’t be giving more than 10%

But last time I checked the majority of people who work in restaurants aren’t in the Cabinet, earning huge salaries and enjoying all the perks bestowed up Parliamentarians including paid vacations and huge pensions.

 Nope. They’re broke and could use a little extra help. And have to wear outfits like this in public:

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 So fuck off, Revenue Canada.

What’s next? Am I to report the ten dollars my grandmother sends me for my birthday or when I sold my NES at a garage sale? Is there ANY money out there that you don’t want a part of?

 Oh wait, there is. Banks. Banks, who have proven time and time again to dodge taxes, unload bad debt onto the Canadian taxpayers and pay a disproportionately small share of taxes. But I suppose it’s much more difficult to pick on CIBC than a 24 year old waitress saving money to go backpacking around Europe. By all means keep picking on Rosie.

Hey wait a minute, you know who else is walking away without paying taxes on their profits? The Homeless!

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You want to talk about an unreported “underground economy” Many of them live underground! Squirrelling away their %100 profit margin! Why not crack down on beardy-Joe? Reach right into that shopping cart and take your fair share of unreported cans. 

If the Government wants tips, they should provide better service. 

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